Ghosts, Babysitting, And Identity Problems
by BaronOBeefDip
Summary: Danny, Jazz, and Dan are stuck in Fenton Works and go crazy with boredom. Oh, and Danny takes a few too many whacks to the head. Story DOES contain Original Characters AKA Fancharacters
1. The Vanishing Baby

**DISCLAIMER: Danny Phantom belongs to...now really, y'all should know by now! Sylvester and this fanfic belong to me.**

Dan groaned audibly. He could've been out terrorizing the streets of Amity Park, destroying whatever he felt like, and being a total jerk in general. However, much to his dismay, he had found himself stuck at FentonWorks with his past-self, his ex-sister, and his only son. It wasn't that Dan hated his family. Well, he loved Sylvester, though he would never admit it. The rest of his family? In all honesty, he didn't give a damn either way what became of them.

"I don't see why the babysitter decided to not show up at the last minute and had that obviously fake cough." he sighed as he bounced Sylvester up and down on his knee.

Danny rolled his eyes, "Gee, I don't know. Maybe it had to do with the fact that you threatened to eat her if you were to find Sylvester injured in any way."

The evil future-ghost merely chose to ignore this comment. He would've asked Danny, Jazz, or even his ex-parents to babysit Sylvester for him...but they were far too busy. So, Dan had to stay in the ghost-hunters' home and entertain his own flesh and blood. Dan was silently thankful, though, that children were easily entertained as Sylvester babbled happily as he bounced up and down on his father's leg.

"I'm gonna go get something to eat." Dan finally spoke after ignoring his growling stomach for far too long, "Watch my kid while I'm gone...and I'd better not see any scratches or bruises on him when I get back."

With that said, Dan unceremoniously dropped Sylvester into Danny's lap before flying away.

"Wait!" the half-ghost shouted even though his attempts would be futile, "I never agreed to this...and...he's gone isn't he. Why must I be a jerk in the future?"

Danny gulped nervously. Ok, no big problem. All he had to do was watch the son of the most dangerous ghost in the universe and...he now had to FIND the son of the most dangerous ghost in the universe. Now, it was a problem. He had forgotten that Sylvester was a half-ghost as well, and while he wasn't nearly as skilled or as powerful as his father, the little guy sure could get around when he wanted to.

"This won't end well..." the half-ghost sighed before reluctantly picking himself up and going off in search of Sylvester.

**Author's Notes: Well, this is the first chapter of my silly little fanfic. I hope y'all enjoyed it. I'm open to any suggestions/requests that you may have. Just keep in mind that I CANNOT fulfill everyone's wishes...but I'll try to do as many as I can. In the meantime, stay tuned for the next chapter!**


	2. Out Like A Light

**DISCLAIMER: This part is so the lawyers don't sue me! **

"Ok, no need to panic.." Danny took a deep breath in a somewhat futile attempt to stay calm, "Sylvester just wandered off to someplace where he could get burned...or cut, or bruised, or scraped, or skinned alive or..."

He felt his stomach tie itself into knots as each scene became more gruesome than the last. Though, what really had Danny in a bundle of nerves was the very idea of exactly WHAT Dan would to to the half-ghost should Sylvester be injured or traumatized in any way.

"Why is he so close to that kid anyway?" he muttered to himself, "It's not like him. Dan EATS babies for crying out loud! And... I'm talking to myself again. I really need to stop..."

He paused when he heard a familiar babbling. Good, at least Sylvester was still IN the house. Question now was where? The half-ghost quickly followed the babbling only to find Sylvester sitting on the kitchen floor holding something...

...A shiny something.

...A SHARP something.

Quickly reacting before the infant hurt himself, Danny pulled the knife away from Sylvester. The infant merely continued to coo and babble unaware that the knife had been taken away from him. Danny let out a sigh of relief and sat down on the floor. At least the kid had a tiny attention span.

Of course, he failed to notice that Sylvester had climbed onto the counter. He then managed to open one of the cupboard doors causing several pots and pans to fall onto the half-ghost.

"Oh...g'night..." Danny muttered incoherently before losing consciousness.

Unfortunately, Dan decided to come back home shortly after Danny went "night night".

"Good news." he smirked darkly while using some sort of bone as a makeshift toothpick, "That annoying neighbor kid won't be bothering us any..."

The evil-future ghost frowned upon noticing that Sylvester was sitting innocently on the kitchen counter while Danny was out cold and buried in pots and pans. Maybe he didn't want to know what happened while he was gone.

**Author's Notes: Thank you for all your lovely reviews! The next part is coming soon, and I'm still open to suggestions.**


	3. Does Whatever A Well You Know

**DISCLAIMER: All characters and/or franchises and/or sheep belong to their respected creators/owners/lawers/Ted Turner. **

Dan sighed in mild annoyance as he picked up Sylvester and looked down at the still out-cold Danny.

"Geez, I leave you alone for five minutes and this is what I come home to?" the ghost frowned, "Maybe I'll handcuff you to Box Lunch. That'll teach you to...Oh, right, you're out like a light."

Sylvester cooed and babbled. He then looked up at his father and squealed in delight.

"No," Dan sighed as if his son actually spoke to him instead of babbling incoherently, "as much as I really want to, we can't drop my idiot past-self into Old Faithful and see if he'd shoot up into the air like those cartoons.'

Of course, the baby paid no attention to his father's unusual and often insanity induced ramblings. He merely grabbed onto Dan's finger and began to chew on it. Dan merely gave a low growl in warning which caused Sylvester's lip to quiver before letting go of his father's now-bleeding finger.

Ding Dong!

Dan walked up to the front door while cradling Sylvester in one arm. He the opened it and sneered upon noticing Box Lunch standing..erm...floating on the front porch.

"What do you want?" he growled.

Box Lunch merely replied sweetly, "I'm selling Ghost Scout cookies. Would you like to buy some?"

"Really?" Dan answered sarcastically, "You mean I can spend my money that I worked so hard to steal on a bunch of dry, poor tasting, cardboard flavored cookies that even a starving dung beetle would think twice about before eating? I'd rather be superglued to Klemper."

He then slammed the door in his face. Box Lunch, being a ghost, merely turned intangible and floated through the door.

"I don't think I made myself clear." her voice still had some sweetness to it but it was getting more menacing with each word, "I'm. Not. Leaving. Until. You. Buy. Some. Cookies!"

"You'll be staying in this house for a long time." Dan muttered under his breath, "Danny's your babysitter...listen to him...or not. I don't care either way."

A soft groan was heard as Danny finally woke up. He winced in pain as he rubbed his now-bruised head and glanced around. The half-ghost seemed, for some unexplainable reason, confused. Danny then took his middle and ring fingers and pushed down on his palm clearly expecting something to have happened as a result.

Looking distraught, Danny then leapt towards the nearest wall expecting to stick to it only to crash and fall to the ground.

"My powers!" he shouted, "Some sort of evil force must've stripped me from my powers."

Dan rolled his eyes, "No one took your powers ya stupid half-breed."

"VENOM!" Danny yelled pointing wildly at Dan, "You evil fiend! How dare you kidnap that innocent baby?!"

The evil future-ghost blinked, "How hard were you dropped on the head? First of all, my name is Dan. D-A-N! Dan! It's not Vigo or whatever you said. Second, the kid's my son..."

Unfortunately, Danny had already grabbed Sylvester and ran off with him.

"Don't worry, strange little baby!" Danny shouted in an overly-heroic manner, "Spider-Man is here to save you!"

Box Lunch merely looked over at Dan who could only blink in absolute confusion.

"Is it always like this around here?" she finally asked.

Dan said nothing in response. He silently muttered something about a guillotine before wandering off to find some aspirin.

**Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews/suggestions everyone! Keep 'em coming! And, I'd like to thank Hordak's Pupil for suggesting I added Box Lunch into the mix. Stay tuned for the next part!**


	4. The Crazines Continues

**DISCLAIMER: Um...yeah...you know what goes here... **

"Once again, the day is saved!" Danny shouted while wearing an old ski-mask, "Thanks to your friendly neighborhood Spiderman."

Dan frowned in annoyance from where he was tied-up and hanging upside down from the ceiling, "For the last time, you are NOT Spiderman! You don't have spider powers, you didn't marry anyone named Mary Jane, and I am NOT Venom!"

"You cannot trick me, you symbiotic fiend!" Danny shouted before trying to laugh heroically, though it came out sounding rather demented.

The evil future-ghost sighed in mild frustration. At least he didn't have to worry about Danny "rescuing" Sylvester anymore. Jazz had offered to watch over the child until her younger brother was back to his normal self...whatever that was.

"I could get you down." Box Lunch said smugly, "That is, if you're willin' to..."

"FINE!" Dan yelled, "I'll buy a box of your damned cookies!"

The little-girl ghost smiled before freeing Dan of his restraints. Dan merely glared at her in response. He didn't like the fact that he had been tricked into buying those disgusting snacks.

He snarled at her after paying for the cookies, "When this is over, I will personally make sure that your life becomes a living hell."

"Hey, they're fat free and sugar free." Box Lunch pointed out.

"Well, I suppose...WAIT A MINUTE!" Dan frowned.

He was about to tear Box Lunch into tiny pieces when he felt a foot slam into his back. The evil future-ghost turned around to see Danny putting up his fists as if he wanted to be in some sort of ghostly boxing match.

"I knew you would try to escape." Danny spoke, "I may have lost my spider powers, but I can still defeat you!"

"Ok." Dan shrugged before kicking Danny between the legs.

The half-ghost wheezed in pain and fell to his knees. Dan then grinned evilly and punched his past-self in the face causing the half-ghost to be knocked out once again.

"You never said I couldn't fight dirty." the insane poltergeist chuckled darkly and ripped the ski-mask from Danny's face.

After a few moments of silence, Danny woke up once again. He glanced around in confusion before a broad cheesy grin spread across his face.

"Boy, crikey. That lil' beauty put up quite a fight 'e did." he said in a bad Australian accent.

**Author's Notes: Once again, thanks for all the reviews! I still await any suggestions/requests you may have. Oh, and take a wild guess which late famous person Danny thinks he is now...It's pretty obvious, my friends. Anyway, stay tuned for the next part. **


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